Empathy World

I just filled out a one page About Me.

http://about.me/MairALight

You could fill one out too! It was fun and pretty simple to do, I think…

This photo reminds me of the teamwork, focus and aliveness of the four weeks we spent in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia sharing Nonviolent Communication. I intend to go back as part of an international team again within the year. We set up a research lending library and a committee forming to support on-going mentoring for the 80+ people who asked for it. Also planning to form an NVC NGO in Addis.

Crowd at Timkat in front of tent

Friends and friends of friends of friends everyone out in the very hot sun listening to the Patriarch giving a speech in Amharic about letting go of enemy images and seeing all humans as fellows. We listening in the crowd about to be interviewed on the two Ethiopian radio stations about Nonviolent Communication that we had come to Addis Ababa, Ethiopia to teach. Celebrating the Congruence in the messages.

Go to Facebook Page ” Nonviolent COmmunication in Ethiopia” to see more-LOTS more-photos..

Someone just asked me what I would like to talk about. In that moment I had no answer.  I am testing out ScribeFire, which will allow me to post in different places at the same time. This is thrilling to me and I wonder why. Investigating that thrill leads me to many trails.

One trail is that I love the idea that I will no longer be cut-and-pasting from different sites to get my words to there…and there….and there….I think you get the idea! More ease and more choice for me of how I spend my time….and still facilitating the sharing of my words with my different online communities. The thrill is around community and connection. I want to let you know what is going on for me and I want to hear from you as well.

The only place I will not add this to is my Tiny Letter, as what I share there is unique…and Shorter than my other blogs. It’s  mostly a line or two of comment and then a link to something I find inspirational, beautiful or illuminating and I want to share it. If that interests you, you can sign up at  http://tinyletter.com/HeartofEmpathy.

Another trail is that I LOVE to contribute to others, and as I explore the use of this method of posting and share my experience, I’m hoping it will contribute to your life. Hey-I can make mistakes and then report to you so that you don’t!  Or have fun and report that!

Another trail is that idea, you may have heard, that there are only 3 (or 5 or 7) degrees of separation between 2 people. I would like to use different words for this. My experience, and the reported experience of countless (LOL) others is that within 10 or 15 minutes of speaking with someone, you identify someone you know in common. So I would say not degrees of separation, but degrees of connection !

This weekend I stayed at a house in Mendocino County. In the morning my friend went out to walk with neighbors who had moved away from Mendocino County to Oakland, in the SF Bay Area, and had just recently returned. Did I mention that I lived in Mendocino County, Northern California for several decades? And that I have just moved to Oakland? My friend’s friend came in after the walk. She is the daughter of my sister’s close friend. My sister had attended her wedding. No, my sister does not live in Mendocino County…or Oakland.

Add to this about a month ago when this woman was moving back to Mendocino County, she stopped in to her local market-in Oakland- and I was there in the market wondering how I was going to find a way home from the market as I did not have my car-and we met at the counter! I was in process of moving to Oakland as she was in process of moving away and we met at Farmer Joe’s market! You might say the chances of these events are just preposterous, or that there are only two chances (one “fat” and one “slim”). LOL I exerienced just one more example of our interconnectedness, which is way close to interdependence in my book!

I say to someone at a party that I am hoping to be sharing Nonviolent Communication in Ethiopia, and he replies that he has a friend who has written 5 nonfiction books on Ethiopian history/culture. What are the chances? Fat or Slim? Or just the universe operating business-as-usual?
The flap of a butterfly wing changes worldwide weather patterns. I want to create more consciousness in me as to how I am “flapping” in the world. Because from my view there are no independent acts, only interdependence, so what I do/say/think/believe changes worldwide patterns of action/speech/thoughts/beliefs! LOL Again! This just delights me. Maybe it attends to the place in me that really wants to matter and contribute…and offers me a sense of hope for us all to find the ways collectively to bring peace and balance and harmony to the planet.

I bet YOU have a story where you experienced a connection between you and another person which seemed just so improbable…and yet occurred. Want to tell us about it? I invite you to add that comment or any other comment you would like to share with this Tribe of ours, the human family, emerging Homo Empathicus….

Anton Colleton, Mair Alight & Logan Colleton in SF investigating sand turning as we apply sticks and fingers and hands to make patterns in thee sand. I could have done it for hours….but there were also a whole bunch of other possibilities for playing and learning about other things…

General Musings that may or may not be interesting to others…..

Observations–
When I first encountered NVC in 2000 and began to talk about it, the most
common response
I heard was some version of “Huh? What’s that?”. Over the years that has
shifted,and now the most
common response I hear is that the person I’m speaking with has either
read the book, taken a training, or has heard of NVC.
Most recently I have begun work at a psychiatric hospital within a
correctional institution and almost
every staff person I am introduced to expresses how much they value NVC,
they are appreciative that I am bringing
it to the patient/inmates, and many ask if I intend to teach staff too.

In December someone  called to ask me to
come to offer a basic training to for a local group and
her comment was basically that NVC is all the buzz in her area and “everyone”
is talking about it, sees its value and wants NVC taught in the community.
THAT is “social change” to me!

Is the understanding and use of NVC as pervasive as I want it to be? Not
today. Is my goal of NVC being the “first spoken language” in my county
actualizing? Yes, I believe so; just at a slower pace than I would like. I
believe that everyone has their own part to play, and I like that

I experience the tools of NVC as offering a way to practically apply what
MANY different philosophies, , religiions, organizations, movements and
social/political/spiritual ideas speak about.

I just heard a speech by Archbishop Desmond Tutu in which he commented about
apartheid that language has power and language creates a world, that
apartheid had its own language that served to perpetuate it.

In my view, NVC, as a “language of life”, fosters, invites,empowers an
awakening to that world of life within us, and as such constitutes a deep
path of personal awakening that also leads to an understanding of the
concept of interdependence, which leads to a deep awareness of how what we
each as individuals do/think/say contributes to life….or not. I think that
as we each deepen our awareness of our interdependence there comes the
realization of our own sense of purpose/meaning and a motivation to “do
something” to acutalize a world that works for all.

My point is if someone cares to work on a social change project in some
specific area, to some specific end (strategy), I’m grateful and happy they
make that choice. I want my choice to offer NVC as my specific strategy for
social change to also be seen as my strategy for efffecting social change!
Anybody see that too? I’m curious if anyone actually has read to the end of
this and if so, do you have response?
I’m wanting connection and to know how my words have been received by any
who have read this far.

One Way to understand the value of learning NVC in these winter months is thru the lens of Preventive
Maintenance.
If you want to drive safely in winter weather, you winterize your car in
preparation of the winter storms. It is useful foresight not to wait until
you are in a snowstorm to think about getting chains and snowtires for your
car.
Looking at the learning and use of NVC as preventative maintenance for
relationships, personal sense of well-being might be a way to “get” its
practicality in daily life.
Don’t slide on the black ice of anger.
Forge chains of connection and interdependence through the practical
application of NVC
in your daily interactions with your family and those you work with
“Winterize” your expressions to explain what you need and want in ways most
likely to
invite understanding and cooperation.

Correlating perceived benefits to personal resource expenditures as
preventative and prudent
use of those resources….
I am uncertain if I have been as clear as I want just now, and choosing to
turn my attention
to my own use of my resources, I’ll leave my input here, and request
feedback from those who are stimulated to respond.

Practical Compassion…Peace and Harmony within.
How do I actually DO this? I Practice !
I have no control over how other people act/think/talk.
I let trying to change them go.
I want to create a world within myself that I enjoy.
So, I resolve to translate my judgments of myself and others into an inquiry.
What is going on? Beginner’s mind. I don’t know.
I guess what I and other people are thinking, feeling, needing. I check my guess out.
What
might I do or say to create within myself and with others connection,
understanding and mutual respect? I’ll try whatever I think might do
that. I’ll see if it “works”. If I-or others- are not enjoying that,
I’ll look for another strategy.
I continue to let go of my assumptions and my own perceptions as the “truth”.
I
experience more ease, peace of mind and self acceptance. I feel
happier. I experience relief in proportion to the degree that I am
letting go of my claims of being right.

Greetings Dear Ones!

I wrote this poem when I was 14 years old:

If
souls were free to walk about,

Would you want yours sticking out”?

This aligns with my learning/understanding of NVC….When I encountered NVC,
I was a staff minister at a Religious Science (New Thought) Center…
Kelly Bryson (author of the book, Don’t be Nice, Be Real”) came to do a workshop…and had puppets with him.

I began
the workshop thinking “Oh, no! Gag me with a spoon! I’m now going to
waste two hours of my life watching a grown man play with puppets!” Of
course, since I was a staff minister (label!) it was my duty (!) to sit
there smiling and nodding my head in “support”(!?!?!?)

Be well, Dear Ones, be Well !

I experience wild spiraling joy when I bring loving kindness and compassion into my daily words and acts. I do not know what effects may spiral out in fractal interdependence; I am trusting the effects are far-reaching and beautiful, creating more joy, compassion, love and peace around the planet. Do you experience that wild fractal joy spiraling outwards from your core heart with your congruent aligned words and actions?!?!?! Joy in this moment breathes me here and now. A song rises through me:
Dear Heart,wont you let me contribute to your Well-Being?Lungs breathing,heart beating, eyes seeing….Dear Heart! Dear Heart! Dear Heart!
Be well, Dear Ones, be Well !

Just watching this video gives me a sense of understanding and hope. Yes, we (all earth life) share a common biosphere! Humans’ new ‘phase’: Homo Empathicus! I’m hoping you will watch this video and share it with others as well as act in accordance with the ideas presented! For me, continuing my sharing of nonviolent communication contributes to Homo Empathicus.

I’m curious if you watch the video and have a response, inviting you to comment in reply.

Be well, Dear Ones, be Well !